Embracing my Loaf Pan Life.

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When I first started blogging consistently it was almost 9 years ago - on the journey to the age of 40. I chronicled the lessons I learned before I turned 40. I never anticipated the journey that starting that blog would bring me on. I am am still surprised at what happened to me in life, work and relationships since I wrote that first lesson - on the beauty of imperfect things, of mistakes and missteps, and the things that didn’t turn out how I thought they would.

Some days it feels like so much that I think and write about is still about that first topic. Now that I am returning to blogging consistently, and writing about some of the lessons I learned since starting the blog, and how some of those lessons are changing, or have changed me, this feels more true than ever. And some of the lessons I have been fascinated with the most have been the ones I didn’t see coming. These are the lessons that I consider when I think about the things that I have done over the past few years, that the 10 years ago version of myself would have said absolutely-never-no-way to.

One of the blog posts I wrote years ago was about becoming a different person every 7 years; a post inspired by the book - What Alice Forgot. It was about someone who forgot the last 10 years of her life, and it got me thinking about what the 10 years ago version of me would think about my life now; what were some of the things she would never have seen coming, and what lessons have I learned from doing things that I never thought I would do.

Living with less

Today is the first lesson for the year, and it is about my current loaf pan life. I moved to the UK 3 and a half years ago, a move that the 10 years ago version of me would NEVER have seen coming - as I never thought I would return to live in the UK. That will likely be unpacked in further blog posts, but today is about one aspect of my life that grew from that move.

When I moved here, I used that as an opportunity to get rid of a LOT of my “stuff” and start again, putting into practice some of the ideas that had been brewing for me around living with less. So when I arrived, I started an experiment to see how few things I could survive with in my kitchen - purchasing only what felt absolutely necessary for what I needed to do.

This posed a challenge for the baker in me - who had spent years building a dreamy collection of kitchen implements which included my beloved kitchen aid mixer, large food processor, and cake tins of every size and shape. And I used most of them for years - baking on small and large scale for projects that ranged from friends birthday cakes, to gingerbread houses for my nephew and Godchildren, to baking dozens of cakes for Christmas hampers for a group I volunteered with, to annual cookie and sweet corporate baskets, to baking for a friend’s coffee shop and more. I loved to experiment with new recipes, converting them into gluten free, or egg free, or dairy free (or even sugar free for a friend who developed a cane sugar allergy) and I once dreamed about running a cooking class for people with specific dietary needs. I also dreamed about opening a coffee shop, or creating a pop up coffee shop (something I still think about to this day).

The pandemic changed that for me a LOT, and when I moved to the UK, I wondered if it would be possible for me to continue to do the occasional baking, while scaling it right down to suit my current reality - which is that I almost never have a lot of folks to bake for. It became an experiment in finding smaller recipes (hellooooooo small batch and “recipes for two”) and the kitchen implement that became the symbol for this - as well as the practical manifestation of it - was my loaf pan.

My loaf pan life was born.

Loaf pan life

I challenged myself to see how many of the things I loved to bake could be adapted to a recipe that fit into a single loaf pan. Lemon cake and coconut bread were easy. A consistent batch of flapjacks was a little bit trickier, but totally worth it! And there is version of peanut butter bars that I made to fit my loaf pan is something I still think about even though it’s been over a year since I made it. And a few days ago I even managed mini cinnamon rolls and a small version of the tannenbaum cake that I used to make every year (AKA Christmas Nut bread). 

I embraced rubbing-in techniques (reverse creaming it is called for some reason), melted butter techniques and all in one recipes. And I found the most amazing 2-cupcake recipe. To those who question why you would go to that amount of effort to just have 2 cupcakes, I’d say try it before you knock it. This festive season I even made 3 light fruit cupcakes using my 2 cupcake recipe and a few spoonfuls of the great cake fruit that has been soaking for quite some time.

The version of me who once literally wrote an ode to her kitchen aid mixer (you’ll find it here) would not have expected the challenge of tiny recipes that fit into a loaf pan to be one that felt like fun - and yet it is! I am enjoying the loaf pan life, and many other aspects of living with less. 

And one of the biggest lessons that I have learned from embracing loaf pan life is about intentionality. Living with less requires a great deal of intentionality itself - and that can sometimes feel stressful, making so many decisions; but loaf pan life has felt like a way of being intentional that has also felt fun and light - and it does help that there is something yummy at the end. I have found a fresh way to consider food science (which has always fascinated me) try new recipes and ingredients, and not be faced with leftovers and waste when I realise that no-one else is in the office on Monday morning.

I have also been able to re-imagine recipes and translate techniques from one type of recipe to another. And loaf pan life isn’t just about the actual loaf pan - I experimented with a tiny batch of sorrel over Christmas as well as other things I often made in large batches. I found a recipe that makes 4 chocolate chip cookies (or one giant one), and another one that makes 2-3 cupcakes, and I reduced my banana bread recipe down to one that makes 2 muffins. 

I think more carefully about the ingredients I purchase now, and how I can use them in multiple ways. I think more carefully about techniques and substitutions. I think more carefully about what I actually want, and I can experiment without worrying about waste as much as I used to. I have a space to practice intentional thinking in a low stakes way, and I can bring that into other aspects of my life.

So for the moment - loaf pan life is here to stay. And while it is true that some days I miss the ease and convenience of a fully stocked kitchen, for now I have fallen in love with the loaf pan, and next year I’ll be thinking of how to convert some of the savoury recipes that I can make in the loaf pan, as well as some new techniques to try (I’m coming for you lasagna!)

So - I am curious. What is a limitation that has turned into an unexpected opportunity and dare I say delight for you? What are some small batch or tiny recipes you can recommend? And what is one lesson you learned in life from something you never saw coming?

I send you big love.